As i sit here and survey my bedroom which resembles the
aftermath of a bomb going off as well as the rest of the house, i am
sincerely hoping that it just LOOKS worse than it really is.
Tonight is my last night in this house, my last night living in the same house with my ex (that has been needed for a long, long long long time) my last night dealing with horrid neighborhood children who have done nothing but cause trouble almost since we got here years ago.
i'm feeling a lot of things right now... some good, some scary, some excited, some worried that things around this house really ARE as bad as they look and by morning it will have multiplied further, lol...
But im trying to remain calm and just keep working hard to get done so we can drive away from this place associated with so much hurt and negativity and pain and not have to look back again.
Earlier today i took the children up to Master's house (the one He leased in GA) while they hooked up internet and cable. we were there all day and it was a good day. i texted Master about various things, asking Him where He preferred dishes, which side of the bathroom sinks He wanted and other things.
i told Him that my life starts when He arrives and that couldn't be a more sincere statement. i am preparing HIS home; the home i will serve and worship Him in, the home i will take care of for Him and make as warm and loving and cozy for Him as possible. He was so missed today. i wish it had been possible for U/us to do this together somehow but two households moving together that are over 1000 miles apart are hard to coordinate. lol
So the kids and i will get things as set up as possible the way He thinks He wants them without having actually BEEN in the house. (W/we're using pictures but being here is quite the experience. i wish i could show you all a picture my daughter took of my littlest in the kid's living room that, in Master's words, makes it look like W/we have Lilliputians living in the house. She looks SO tiny compared to the size of the room, lol. She's 6 and kind of petite but she looks like she's standing in a museum the room is so large around her.
The kids loved the house more today than yesterday and really put up a fuss when it was time to come back to the house of negativity (i've come up with several nicknames for the place we're leaving today, lol) i told them and have told them several times tonight...ONE more night and we're done, hang in there.
Now i just have to tell myself that. I'm tired, sore, i miss Master, i'm still stressed, and there's still a lot to do. i truly hope i don't come across as complaining...i am So excited about the new home Master has invited the children and i to live in with Him. it will be a warm, loving home filled with laughter, happiness, and a lot of adoration of Master. But moving out of a home, however terrible it was, with 7 children, 2 dogs, 2 ferrets, a rabbit, our stuff and get everything settled and done up there at Master's home in one week has been... well let's just say i'm a bit tired, lol.
W/we had a temporary scare today when the realtor who manages the lease of Master's new home called and said they wanted to show it tomorrow to a buyer. i felt my heart stop. Master called the realtor back after reading the lease again and found the clause that stated what they were doing by showing it and so on while He had just leased it was clearly against the lease.
So they have taken the house off the market and W/we're not in danger of losing it for the next year. The plan by then is to have the log home Master wants built, so W/we won't have to worry, but for a few minutes i just sat in the ginormous Master bathroom on the edge of the garden tub (i LOVE this bathroom!) and had some pretty scary thoughts run through my head. Master took care of it though and i can breathe again. :)
So tomorrow my new life gets ready to start. a part of it starts...the part of me being in the house with the children without the negative forces of their father smashing our attempt to be happy about anything. He is poison to happiness. (the ex) and now that is out of the way. i can surround them with happiness, encouragement, laughter, and teach them Master's rules knowing that when He arrives, they will already be accustomed to how He wants things. They are looking forward to His arrival very much. Not as much as i am though.
it's been a very busy week and it's not over yet...but i'm handling it, without any major panic attacks (just a minor one this morning) and i am doing things the way Master has expressed He wants them. i hope that He is proud of me. :)
Tonight is my last night in this house, my last night living in the same house with my ex (that has been needed for a long, long long long time) my last night dealing with horrid neighborhood children who have done nothing but cause trouble almost since we got here years ago.
i'm feeling a lot of things right now... some good, some scary, some excited, some worried that things around this house really ARE as bad as they look and by morning it will have multiplied further, lol...
But im trying to remain calm and just keep working hard to get done so we can drive away from this place associated with so much hurt and negativity and pain and not have to look back again.
Earlier today i took the children up to Master's house (the one He leased in GA) while they hooked up internet and cable. we were there all day and it was a good day. i texted Master about various things, asking Him where He preferred dishes, which side of the bathroom sinks He wanted and other things.
i told Him that my life starts when He arrives and that couldn't be a more sincere statement. i am preparing HIS home; the home i will serve and worship Him in, the home i will take care of for Him and make as warm and loving and cozy for Him as possible. He was so missed today. i wish it had been possible for U/us to do this together somehow but two households moving together that are over 1000 miles apart are hard to coordinate. lol
So the kids and i will get things as set up as possible the way He thinks He wants them without having actually BEEN in the house. (W/we're using pictures but being here is quite the experience. i wish i could show you all a picture my daughter took of my littlest in the kid's living room that, in Master's words, makes it look like W/we have Lilliputians living in the house. She looks SO tiny compared to the size of the room, lol. She's 6 and kind of petite but she looks like she's standing in a museum the room is so large around her.
The kids loved the house more today than yesterday and really put up a fuss when it was time to come back to the house of negativity (i've come up with several nicknames for the place we're leaving today, lol) i told them and have told them several times tonight...ONE more night and we're done, hang in there.
Now i just have to tell myself that. I'm tired, sore, i miss Master, i'm still stressed, and there's still a lot to do. i truly hope i don't come across as complaining...i am So excited about the new home Master has invited the children and i to live in with Him. it will be a warm, loving home filled with laughter, happiness, and a lot of adoration of Master. But moving out of a home, however terrible it was, with 7 children, 2 dogs, 2 ferrets, a rabbit, our stuff and get everything settled and done up there at Master's home in one week has been... well let's just say i'm a bit tired, lol.
W/we had a temporary scare today when the realtor who manages the lease of Master's new home called and said they wanted to show it tomorrow to a buyer. i felt my heart stop. Master called the realtor back after reading the lease again and found the clause that stated what they were doing by showing it and so on while He had just leased it was clearly against the lease.
So they have taken the house off the market and W/we're not in danger of losing it for the next year. The plan by then is to have the log home Master wants built, so W/we won't have to worry, but for a few minutes i just sat in the ginormous Master bathroom on the edge of the garden tub (i LOVE this bathroom!) and had some pretty scary thoughts run through my head. Master took care of it though and i can breathe again. :)
So tomorrow my new life gets ready to start. a part of it starts...the part of me being in the house with the children without the negative forces of their father smashing our attempt to be happy about anything. He is poison to happiness. (the ex) and now that is out of the way. i can surround them with happiness, encouragement, laughter, and teach them Master's rules knowing that when He arrives, they will already be accustomed to how He wants things. They are looking forward to His arrival very much. Not as much as i am though.
it's been a very busy week and it's not over yet...but i'm handling it, without any major panic attacks (just a minor one this morning) and i am doing things the way Master has expressed He wants them. i hope that He is proud of me. :)
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