Making others happy

where will my dreams take me?

i have spent my whole life trying to make others happy. As a child, i always did what i was told to do, and always wanted people to be pleased with me. i never did get that approval from any of the women in my family, but i felt like i had my father's partial approval. He was always critiquing, always correcting, but every once in a while i got a terse...good...now keep working on it to make it even better.

As i got older, this wanting to please issue became an exercise in never doing what "i" truly wanted but always doing what others thought i should. my mother, sister, boyfriends, friends...it didn't matter. if i stated something i wanted to do or that i was thinking about doing, they would say...No you need to do THIS...and i would.

This has continued my entire life except for ONE area. The number of children i have. NONE of my pregnancies were considered reasons to celebrate by any of my family. i got pregnant intentionally with my first at 17. i wanted a baby...so...i got pregnant. That little baby was my world. i didn't have another baby until 6 years later and the first thing my mother said was..."well i hope you don't expect me to babysit"

i was shocked but assured her that my reasons for having another child had nothing to do with having her babysit. (thanks mom) and so it went...every announcement of a new pregnancy was met with disgust, anger, belittling me and so on from pretty much EVERYONE in my family. i did have friends who were supportive, but other than that, it was me and the new baby. Even my exes (husband at the time) were not involved. so i never had that "dream pregnancy" i was always watching on those baby shows on tv.

i remember when i had my fourth child, my first with my second husband, it was the middle of the night and i could hear the people in the next room who were getting ready to have their baby. There were TONS of people there, and you could hear all this celebrating, all this laughter and happiness... the father came out of the room to get a special gift he had bought for his wife for right after she had the child...(i could hear him talking to the nurse at the desk)

i held my son and vowed to him, crying the whole time that when HE got married and had children with his wife, i would celebrate each and every pregnancy and make it a celebration. But despite that reception i always got, that was the one area in my life i didnt let them dictate for some reason.

i wanted a large family my whole life. And by god they were NOT taking THAT away from me. i've given up so many dreams over the years...so many things i had put on my list of things i want to do in my life, that i started to do and as soon as i got their disapproval, i gave it up.

Now, this was MY fault, i make no mistake about that. and i can't exactly even tell you why i gave up so many things. But recently there has been something that has been on my mind that i started doing the same thing with and through discussions with my Master and really giving this some deep thought, i am not going to allow myself to fall into that same pattern.

I think after 43 years it's time to do some things for myself. Now my life is my Master's. And permission for anything i want to do comes from Him. But if i ask Him if it's okay for me to do these things and He says yes, then that's it...NO ONE else will be allowed to stop me through the measures they've always used which is belittling and massive guilt trips. No one will be able to change my mind. My Master has all say over my life, but i know He wants me to be happy too and He will take into consideration anything i ask Him permission for. it certainly doesn't mean He will say yes to it...but i know He will consider it and if He feels it is good for me and for U/us and tells me i can, then i'm doing it!

it's taken me a long time to reach this point and even still there is this rock in the pit of my stomach sometimes when i think about having to go up against so many people just to do things that i'd like to do, when THEY can make decisions for their own lives at will and consider no one but themselves. THAT is okay....the rules for ali are different. They always have been and i've allowed that.

From now on there is ONE person in my life who has the complete and total right to make decisions for me and that is my Master. Everyone else will need to step aside and worry about themselves for a change. I'm going to go be happy with my Master and my kids and make those dreams come true that i have inside me. (with Master's approval of course, lol)

sometimes i wonder why it has taken me SO long to learn these lessons. i'm teaching my kids to go after their dreams and be true to themselves early in life so they can avoid making the mistakes i did by letting others who had no right to dictate my paths.

The simple life...

Sometimes i sit and think about my life now and i wonder what the heck happened. When did it get so unbelievably complicated? When did it become all about trying to make a living and paying bills and battling weight, and "dealing with things" instead of just enjoying things? When did it become about just getting through the day only to do it all again the next day?

i remember years ago when i actually had time to stop and smell the roses so to speak. and Now? Now i'm lucky to even SEE the roses let alone smell them. i remember when evenings were peaceful, kids in bed, sitting out on my back porch listening to the sounds of crickets or other evening critters.

I remember lightening bugs and going on picnics, taking drives just because...i remember a lot of things.
My days all run together now. One long endless quest to support myself and the kids so i can get away from the soon to be ex. i get up early, stay up late, working.... always working.

Don't get me wrong, i am grateful and thankful to HAVE that work. i'm thankful to be paid for something i love to do. But sometimes it would just be nice to simplify my life and have enjoyable times again instead of everything being so stressed.

i used to have SO many dreams about my life and how i wanted it to go. The passionate loving marriage to someone who knew me inside and out and wanted to not only own me legally but mentally, physically, emotionally.... sheesh THAT dream certainly never came CLOSE to coming true with my exes, lol. It was my own personal hell inside those marriages... and i am thankful to not be in them anymore.

i used to want to have property in the country, horses, a barn, a beautiful home with wood floors, fireplaces, and a sprawling porch...i wanted to have gardens and cookouts and sit on the porch smelling freshly mowed grass while i watched the kids chase fireflies...

i'm only 43... i'm not ready or willing to say "this" is how my life goes from here on out. i just have to figure out how to find the vision again...or redefine the vision and figure out what it is now...i'm different now than i was then in many ways... not bad..just different... but i still believe that there is more to life than working each day and just trying to get through.

slavery isn't always easy...

it's easy to be a slave when it's fun or enjoyable, or when it's easy.  But the true magnitude of my slavery really hits home with me during the times it's VERY difficult.  Serving my Master is never difficult.  i live for that every day and look for ways to please Him.  That's important to me.

But sometimes, there are things that are difficult for me and i have to truly fight myself to stay in the right place at His feet.  It's not that i become belligerent or mouthy.  In all honesty, that is not me and never would be.  it's that usually, i become afraid and that fear causes me to step out of what i know to be the right thing to do, or out of the things Master wants me to do.  Sometimes these internal fights get pretty intense and i am very hard on myself for slipping or struggling Master doesn't expect me to be perfect, but *i* expect myself to be no matter how much i know that true perfection isn't possible. 

Fear causes me to do many things...as soon as i get scared i try to start scrambling to find secure ground and that can present itself in a number of ways... asking things i shouldn't,  worrying about things i shouldn't, backing off, closing up, not sleeping, even having panic attacks.

During these times when i may be reeling inside,  i am consistenly trying to get myself back into the right frame of mind, and the self dialogue begins....

yes, i do talk to myself... and i have a good friend who understands the dynamic Master and i have because it is similar to hers and her Sir's dynamic, so she is good at kicking me back into place. She doesn't say what i want to hear, even though *sometimes*  i wish she would... but it helps to have an outside source reaffirming the self dialogue i am telling myself.

It's an ongoing battle.  Sometimes the only way i can get back into the right frame of mind is to tell myself that no matter WHAT happens, i will survive it even if i don't feel like i will, and that if my Master feels that whatever it is that needs to be done whatever way He feels is best, then He must have had a good reason and it is NOT for me to question. 

But that place takes awhile for me to get to, and it's not instant or fake.  Faking it does nothing but make it all worse and eventually everything will blow up in my face internally.  So i spend a few days or whatever trying to get where i know i need to be... 

i am not a slave because it's easy.  Total surrender, 100% of all of me, fears included, is the hardest thing i've ever done.  But when i AM able to get there, to BE in that place i want to be more than anything, it makes me SO happy


Very few things trip me up.  i don't have "issues" with 100% control, being told what to do, where to go or not go, and other things... but this one thing i struggle with and it really gets in the way of who i want to be for Him. 

i am a work in progress in this area and i know i can beat it... i may not beat it tonight or tomorrow... or even next week, but every day i will work hard to overcome anythng that takes me away from where i need and want to be more than anything and that is at my Master's feet. 

slave book of days... 7/11/12

Outside my window... a bit hot, kind of humid, and less bird sounds than normal... not exactly quiet but not jungle sounding the way it is some mornings, lol.


My thoughts... i've got a lot going on in my head this morning... now if i can just make sure that i keep my focus on the things i should think about and not think about the things i shouldn't...then i'd be doing really good. :)


Today's Quote... "Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you are right..."




i am thankful for... waking up, having a great Master that likes to laugh and have fun, my kids and working for myself



From my service training... researching slave positions, and Elizabethan language


From the kitchen... i think i'm going to make a recipe i found that i thought the kids would love trying. It has cresent rolls, chicken and gravy in it. I think they'll love it. :)


i am wearing... shorts and a black bra at the moment...it's hot in my room...



i am creating... a book of recipes for my Master

my adventures this week...dinner with my sister tonight, possibly going back to the doctor tomorrow, errands, chores... stuff like that :)


Becoming well read... Erotic Slavehood...


i manifest and co-create... success in my business, the home of my dreams that i found the other day on a plans website....yep... that's the one! Perfect size, perfect floor plan... it's just perfect.


Today's Melody... getting away from the mushy love songs for awhile... :)
this is a song that i love and told Master about last night. It's an oldie but one of my favorites without a doubt...Gene Kelly was so amazing... i like Usher's remake of it as well and think he did a good job. Master likes the original better (and i agree)... so... here they both are. :)

<p/>One of my favorite things... quiet time... such a rarity sometimes :) <p/>further plans for this week... no further plans to speak of at the moment. Hoping for rain and some cooler temps later in the week. <p/>Still....life i need to get away... this looks like the perfect spot to me...

slave book of days 7/10/12

Outside my window... someone is building something this morning..,sounds of hammering along with the birds this morning


My thoughts... i am in a thoughtful place this morning..,quiet, introspective about a lot of things...my slavery, my health, how life has changed over the years. In some ways life was so much simpler years ago...guess today i'm feeling the weight of being a single mom of 7 kids, trying to make ends meet and just wanting life to be simple again... i miss the days when i didn't struggle with fears, with insecurities...when i just woke up happy and excited for the day and the day was simple...or at least relatively so.


Today's Quote... Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying i will try again tomorrow. Mary Anne Radmacher


i am thankful for... waking up each day ready to try again, my Master and hearing Him tell me He loved me...such beautiful words to hear, my kids. the fact that i get to see Master in 15 days.



From my service training... Researching slave positions, working on my recipes for Master and studying the Elizabethan way of speaking...


From the kitchen... from the looks of it, all i'm making for dinner is laundry. Good grief where did all this COME from? as far as dinner tonight... hmmmm... not a clue. Something easy that the kids will eat sounds good to me.


i am wearing... shorts and a light green, short sleeve top.


i am creating... a book of my Master's favorite recipes



my adventures this week... getting my hair done today or tomorrow, hopefully today... trying to figure out what is going on with my system... dealing with some unexplained swelling in my feet and legs that is about to make me crazy. Hopefully can figure it out soon...


Becoming well read... Still working on Erotic Slavehood



i manifest and co-create... Success in mine and my Master's businesses, the house of O/our dreams



Today's Melody... cherish each minute...they just go by too fast...

One of my favorite things... the knowledge that i don't have to go anywhere or do anything...that i can just relax... i don't get this very often, lol

further plans for this week... possibly go back to the doctor, do something about the mountains of laundry that are threatening to bury the house, mow the lawn

Still....life ... where does MY road take me? i don't know at the moment...

slave book of days- 7/9/12

Outside my window... sometimes it sounds like a jungle in my back yard in the morning...so many birds with all their sounds... i always wonder what they're saying... Someone is cutting branches or something because i can hear the sound of a chainsaw as well.


My thoughts... slowly waking up, and thinking about the things i want to accomplish in my life in general. Thinking about my visit with Master that is coming up in a little less than 16 days...(15 days 22 hours, lol) i need to see Him, i need to feel His arms around me... a few other thoughts that are floating around in my head this morning, but those i am not going to give voice to...they don't need to be there.


Today's Quote... "Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk." anonymous



i am thankful for... that i wake up every morning, that i have a Master that lights up my soul just from seeing His face, that my kids are sweet and healthy, that i am losing weight and reaching my goals one day at a time.


From my service training... will be researching slave positions and the different ones there are, studying Elizabethan verbiage and how it was used.


From the kitchen... i think it's a hot dog and mac n cheese night.


i am wearing... lime green tank top and matching shorts... easy and cool


i am creating... Will continue to work on my recipes for the trip today. i want to make a "Master's Favorites Cookbook" :)



my adventures this week... Getting ready for the trip...getting house organized, getting my nails and hair done this week, waiting on my outfit for Renaissance Faire to be made.


Becoming well read... Erotic Slavehood



i manifest and co-create... my Master's and my dream house, major success in my business and success for my Master in His.



Today's Melody...

One of my favorite things... sitting on the beach in the evening, hardly anyone else around, watching and listening to the waves...

further plans for this week... Not sure what else is going on the rest of this week. i have dinner with my sister on Wednesday night, but that's it so far.

Still Life...

want to be here...NOW

slave book of days 7/8/12

Outside my window... *the sounds of the cicada and birds today. The cicada sounds are a sound that has always...well...lol, annoyed me actually. i've often wondered just how many of them there are around to make that kind of noise. hmmm... *shudders* okay, i don't think i'm going to think about THAT anymore, lol. i'm not a bug person. The first time i ever heard that noise i was driving down the road and thought there was something wrong with my van.* *grins*


My thoughts... *my thoughts are always filled with my Master, from the time i get up until i go to sleep, and even in my dreams. i am focused on getting ready for O/our visit, which i am so excited about. Only 16 days, 23 hours until i see Him again..*


Today's Quote...*"Surround yourself only with people who are going to lift you higher. Life is already filled with those who want to bring you down" Oprah Winfrey*



i am thankful for... *my wonderful Master who takes the time to guide me, mold me, and encourage me. He is my inspiration to be the best i can be every day; my kids who are so entertaining and creative...they make me smile every day.*


From my service training... *Research slave positions and the different kinds there are and put together a report on this for Master...*


From the kitchen...* i think i'm going to make a chicken and pasta salad today for the children. it'll be a nice, cool meal for them and they love pasta salad.*


i am wearing... *white shorts and pink top with a white and deep pink design on it (they are flowers i think, lol)*


i am creating... *a collection of recipes that i want to try for my Master while i am there serving Him on O/our visit. *



my adventures this week...*there haven't been a lot of "adventures" per se, this week. my life is pretty calm for the most part. In general, i just do errands and stuff, lol. In a little over two weeks, i will have a lot of adventures to write about. :) *


Becoming well read... *Erotic Slavehood*



i manifest and co-create... *the dream home that is perfect for Master and the kids and i, Master's successful business and the increase in income from my writing business.*



Today's Melody...

One of my favorite things... *Cuddling close with my Master and kissing and talking and laughing together...and then when it turns so passionate... *sighs happily*

further plans for this week... *getting my nails done Monday and my hair hopefully Tuesday. :) Doing more things to get ready for the visit with Master.*

Still....life

i want to be here...

slave book of days...7/7/12

Outside my window... the sound of a mower, lol. i love the smell of mowed grass but it's so hot that wonderful "mowed grass" smell is missing." *pouts*


My thoughts... thinking about my visit with Master, and some other things that have my mind occupied this morning.


Today's Quote... *"If you dream about it, think on it, study it, live it, breathe it, take ACTION on it, you can and will own it. Believe it, and now...go get it"*


i am thankful for... *my Master's love and patience and the way He makes me feel every single day... my kids, the fact that i get paid for writing.:)*


From my service training... *sighs... okay TODAY i will come up with what to put here. *grins**


From the kitchen... *tonight "corn dogs" have been requested by the kids, so corn dogs, salad, fruit and something else. Maybe some pasta salad.*


i am wearing... *jean shorts and a purple sleeveless top.*


i am creating... ummmmmm... *adds this to the list of things i need to figure out today*



my adventures this week...* lunch with my sister today because she has to "talk to me about something" kinda worried about this, lol. My sister isn't notorious for being overly...um..positive.*


Becoming well read... *Still reading Erotic Slavehood.*



i manifest and co-create... *the house of my Master's and my dream, great success in my writing business and in Master's consulting/training business.*



Today's Melody... *sweet song about new beginnings...*

O

ne of my favorite things... *Every second spent with my Master... every day it just gets better and better*

further plans for this week... *working on my articles, house cleaning, getting ready for my visit with Master*

Still....life

slave book of days...7/6/12

Outside my window... another sunny day... lots of birds singing and it's already hot...that, baking kind of hot that can make you feel like you're cooking, lol. Maybe it'll rain tonight, :)


My thoughts... i went to bed thinking about Master and before my eyes were even open, i was thinking about Him. He fills my mind constantly... how can i serve Him best today? How can i make Him smile and laugh and feel good? How can i be a better slave today? He inspires me to be the best i can be...


Today's Quote...“You can not retain a true and clear vision of wealth if you are constantly turning your attention to opposing pictures, whether they be external or imaginary.” ~Wallace D. Wattles


i am thankful for... my Master's ownership, His love and patience, the fact that He chose ME to be His, my children and their creativity and kindness, the fact that i have my own business that is growing and flourishing


From my service training... Okay...this is the third day that i still haven't thought of something to put here, lol. i WILL figure this out today and have something to put here tomorrow


From the kitchen... the kids wanted soup and sandwiches for dinner, so that will be easy and there will be no need to heat up the kitchen by using the stove.


i am wearing... blue jean shorts, a yellow top with sparkly pink and orange flowers on it. It's my "sunshine" shirt. and it's sparkly! can't go wrong there. :)


i am creating... ah yes...the OTHER section i don't have anything for, lol. Same goal applies to this category...something i am creating.... thinks of things i could do and put here...


my adventures this week... errands today, working on my articles, and that's about it for now. It's been so hot that being out in it is not really enjoyable...


Becoming well read... reading more in Erotic Slavehood today and will post a blog about what i have read so far


i manifest and co-create... the house that Master and i found plans for the other night. This house is a place i can literally SEE us in, living, laughing, loving... i know that it will happen. i can't always explain why i feel certain things, but i know it will happen and i am working towards that.


Today's Melody... i'm feeling so good today... this is such a great song and so true about the simple things in life...

One of my favorite things...i love the night time when Master and i skype...so full of laughter, love, incredible passion.... 

further plans for this week... Want to finish up the articles i need to do and get some shopping done for my upcoming trip. Grocery shopping is in my future as well. If it cools off i'd like to take the children to the beach in the evening one day this weekend.

Still Life...

slave book of days... 7/5/12

Outside my window... another hot one today...sunny out but oh so hot already this morning. Birds singing sound so pretty though... :)


My thoughts... looking forward to another day i get to serve my Master to the best of my ability. Looking for ways i can sink deeper into my surrender to Him. i'm also thinking of O/our visit and looking forward to it so much.


Today's Quote... "If you put a small value on yourself and what you have to offer, rest assured the world will not raise your price."


i am thankful for... being allowed to serve my Master and getting to be His, my healthy children, the mentality i have to strive for the things i want to accomplish...


From my service training... still need to find something for this category. maybe i can do this today...


From the kitchen...Not sure what i will be fixing for tonight. When it's hot it's hard to think about cooking anything. :)


i am wearing... a teal t shirt and light gray shorts...keeping cool...


i am creating... working on something to put here...



my adventures this week...going to the DR. today to get medicine refills for BP. will be glad when i've lost enough to not have to take these anymore.




Becoming well read... Erotic Slavehood



i manifest and co-create... the beautiful, PERFECT home that Master and i really liked that W/we found last night. It's perfect...in every way...



Today's Melody...

 

One of my favorite things...i love bodies of water... water falls, oceans, rivers... there is something so calming about this for me.

further plans for this week... doing some shopping this weekend, hopefully for my upcoming visit to see Master, getting caught up on my work  

Still....life

slave book of days...7/4/12

Outside my window... *sunny, WAY too hot... but still beautiful. Very grateful to live here at the ocean*


My thoughts... *motivated to be as good a slave as i possibly can be for my Master. No more of the "issues" i've been allowing myself to be affected by. I think it's time to actually let myself accept His love... :)*


Today's Quote... *"At any given moment, you have the power to say this is NOT how the story is going to end"*


i am thankful for...*my Master and His never ending patience and love for me; my kids. my writing career and the great client i work for that NEVER runs out of work for me. He is my ticket to being on my own with the kids and away from the ex from hell. :) *


From my service training... *hmmmm...need something to put here. i wonder what kinds of things would qualify for service training? ponders*


From the kitchen... *have pasta salad chilling in the fridge, hot dogs for later with chili. :) oh and fruit!*


i am wearing... *a black tank top and shorts...it's been SO hot lately...*


i am creating... *i need to work on this one... not sure what to put down here either... i need to create something... *



my adventures this week... *dinner with my sister tonight, and then nothing else really... typical grocery errands and so on. *


Becoming well read... *i am starting Erotic Slavehood today*



i manifest and co-create... a home for the kids and i.. (and Master...*grins*) Our dream home...



Today's Melody...(the background of this video reminds me of the night i got on my knees in front of my Master the first night we met in person and asked, no BEGGED to be His... 3:00 am, at the beach all alone, just the two of us... it was incredible)*

One of my favorite things... *my beautiful collar...i touch it constantly and love looking at it.* 

further plans for this week... *not sure at the moment... mostly just working and catching up on articles for my client.* 

Still....life

Service Book of Days is back....update

I started doing the Service book of days months ago and got away from it.   I would like to incorporate this back into my days and will be posting it here on the blog along with other posts about things.    I love the whole premise behind the Book of days, and i know it will help me to focus a bit better and feel more productive. 

I'm trying to decide whether to just post the book of days as a daily post of make it have its own tab.  Hmmmm will have to think about that.   I'll probably post the book of days here and on Fetlife too. :)


Master wants me to post my slave book of days on a separate tab that i have titled "slave book of days" W/we changed the name from service book to slave book because it just worked better for both of U/us. lol

Trying patience...and taming the filly

i try really hard to be a good slave. i actually want to be a perfect slave.  Oh i know...no one can be perfect...but i sincerely want to try to be.  "good" isn't good enough for me.  The last couple of weeks, since my Master left i have been struggling with intense insecurities about...well, about everything;  Him leaving me, Him changing His mind about His feelings, His former submissive, any other slave or submissive on the planet, and comparing myself to everyone and having myself come up short in my eyes. 

Over the last couple of weeks it has gotten worse, especially the comparing myself to His former sub.  i have been afraid that there were still major feelings there between Him and her, and it was tearing me up inside.  A friend of mine pointed out the obvious to me, which is that she is a FORMER sub for a reason, and Master has said those same words to me, but nothing was helping.

I was in a tailspin spiral for many reasons.  i have never been THIS open and vulnerable to anyone before, never trusted anyone with ALL of my secrets, flaws, fears...i was raw and exposed....and absolutely terrified.  Master assured me that they were just friends, but i kept thinking i was "seeing" something and i couldn't or wouldn't let it go and it kept haunting me.   i would ask Him if she had emailed Him that day,  hurting inside that i HAD to ask instead if Him wanting to share it with me,  forgetting my place in that Master shares what He wants to share and what He feels is important for me to know, not what I  feel is important.

I had totally convinced myself that He was not over her and used it as an excuse to back away... or TRY to back away.  Always the wild filly trying to run away... and He is always my Cowboy Master who knows how to tame me, how to be patient with me so that i walk back towards Him. 

We talked today on IM, and through His patience, and some irritation as well, He told me i HAD to start believing Him and stop looking for reasons to run.  He also told me that i needed to stop writing a horrible ending to a story W/we have just begun.

It was tearing me up to "argue" about something so...so senseless.   i didn't want to pull away, i didn't want to run... i just wanted to stop being terrified.  Stop waiting for Him to tell me He was going back to her. 

i am calmer now... more centered... i am giving Master ownership of my fears and terrors.  Only HE can allow me to take those things on, otherwise i will just replace them with thoughts of His ownership and His control over me. 

He is patient,  and i know through this i tried that patience....i didn't mean to but it doesn;t stop the fact that i did.  Am i completely without fear? No.  Do i still worry that they are talking all day or even some of the day?  Yes... i am not happy with my answer, but i'm not going to lie about it... and then the last question...

Do i trust my Master?  ahhhh the million dollar question right there.   Do i trust my Master?   yes....yes i do.  So that makes all this comparing and worrying useless.  Despite the terror and fear, that really is the bottom line.  If He tells me He is over her, i need to believe Him.  If He tells me He is NOT going back, i need to believe Him.  Sometimes trust is an action,  it involves actively doing something to show that trust. What i can do is not sit and wait for Master to hurt me,  and keep my eyes on HIM where they belong. 

i can SHOW Him that i trust Him and not just "say" it.

it's official, i'm not easy or pleasing all the time.  i'm fairly certain i can say that i wasn't being very pleasing as i freaked out and tried to build more walls.   But like He usually does, He got through them and down they came and i am back where i belong...at His feet, at the end of His reins, ready to follow Him anywhere He leads.  

When it just feels right...

i have always dreamed of having someone like my Master.  Someone who shared my passions, someone who knew who i was inside and not only accepted it, but craved what i needed to give.  Master is that person for me.  my Life has taken such a drastic turn for the incredible since i met Him and even more so since i became His.  There aren't words in existence that can express what i feel for Him and how much that grows and intensifies every single day i get to wake up being His. 

This blog is a vision that both of U/us share.  W/we both would love to help those new in the lifestyle navigate it,  and W/we would also love to help those who are in LDRs understand that it is just as real, just as intense, and in many ways SO much harder than a live in relationship.  But they can and do work, and many couples stay committed and work hard to be together permanently. 

i would love for O/our relationship to progress to that... where i can wake up every day of my life, serving Him from morning until night in everything i do and say and to fall asleep in His arms every night after a beautiful day with Him.  For now, W/we plan to see each other as much as humanly possible and that finances allow, but W/we have both said that money will NOT be what keeps U/us apart.

W/we invite You to O/our blog, to O/our relationship journey, and to O/our love for each other.  O/our hope is that W/we can give others encouragement, make them laugh or smile, and express the magic that is U/us.


blessings and hugs,
slave ali