Nervous and excited...

Master is on his way here to His new home and i can't wait to see Him. i m also So nervous. This is the first time He will have spent a lot of time around the children and...well... laughs there are 7 of them.

They are excited about His arrival as well and i just want it to go well. i'm used to their activity level and noise and while i've been working with them on not being SO exuberant, Master isn't going to be used to so many bodies milling around, lol.

We're in the new house now and the kids love it and have settled into a pretty good routine. They are sleeping better, listening better (mostly) and the vibe here is one of positive reinforcement rather than constant negativity their father brought to the table.

The house is huge and i have lost 13 pounds in the last two weeks, most of it the last 5 days with moving and walking all over this house all day long. (one practically needs to pack a lunch to walk from Master's and my bedroom to the back porch :) )

I have visited Master several times over the last almost 9 months W/we've been together and have stayed for about 8 days each time. We have always gotten along beautifully and have had no arguments or disagreements. Of course He would win them all anyway if W/we DID, lol... but living together...it feels so different and my nerves are showing. i just want Him to be happy and i want everything to be perfect and as any of you with kids know...sometimes they act up, or are too hyper or too loud.

i'm trying not to become a wreck and just let things progress how they are going to. my kids are really good kids 90% of the time so part of me knows i'm being worried for nothing...but i do want Him to want to come back here permanently, lol.

i also hope He'll like it here. The kids and i are loving it and i can't tell you all how nice it is to NOT have the ex around anymore. i guess that might sound mean but it's about 5 1/2 years overdue and i feel like a different person without that constant barrage of insults in my face daily.

i'm also nervous about the munch on Saturday... but i'm trying to calm down about everything and not add any tension to the new situation by trying to have everything perfect, which i know isn't possible.

more adventures in moving...

As i sit here and survey my bedroom which resembles the aftermath of a bomb going off as well as the rest of the house, i am sincerely hoping that it just LOOKS worse than it really is.

Tonight is my last night in this house, my last night living in the same house with my ex (that has been needed for a long, long long long time) my last night dealing with horrid neighborhood children who have done nothing but cause trouble almost since we got here years ago.

i'm feeling a lot of things right now... some good, some scary, some excited, some worried that things around this house really ARE as bad as they look and by morning it will have multiplied further, lol...

But im trying to remain calm and just keep working hard to get done so we can drive away from this place associated with so much hurt and negativity and pain and not have to look back again.

Earlier today i took the children up to Master's house (the one He leased in GA) while they hooked up internet and cable. we were there all day and it was a good day. i texted Master about various things, asking Him where He preferred dishes, which side of the bathroom sinks He wanted and other things.

i told Him that my life starts when He arrives and that couldn't be a more sincere statement. i am preparing HIS home; the home i will serve and worship Him in, the home i will take care of for Him and make as warm and loving and cozy for Him as possible. He was so missed today. i wish it had been possible for U/us to do this together somehow but two households moving together that are over 1000 miles apart are hard to coordinate. lol

So the kids and i will get things as set up as possible the way He thinks He wants them without having actually BEEN in the house. (W/we're using pictures but being here is quite the experience. i wish i could show you all a picture my daughter took of my littlest in the kid's living room that, in Master's words, makes it look like W/we have Lilliputians living in the house. She looks SO tiny compared to the size of the room, lol. She's 6 and kind of petite but she looks like she's standing in a museum the room is so large around her.

The kids loved the house more today than yesterday and really put up a fuss when it was time to come back to the house of negativity (i've come up with several nicknames for the place we're leaving today, lol) i told them and have told them several times tonight...ONE more night and we're done, hang in there.

Now i just have to tell myself that. I'm tired, sore, i miss Master, i'm still stressed, and there's still a lot to do. i truly hope i don't come across as complaining...i am So excited about the new home Master has invited the children and i to live in with Him. it will be a warm, loving home filled with laughter, happiness, and a lot of adoration of Master. But moving out of a home, however terrible it was, with 7 children, 2 dogs, 2 ferrets, a rabbit, our stuff and get everything settled and done up there at Master's home in one week has been... well let's just say i'm a bit tired, lol.

W/we had a temporary scare today when the realtor who manages the lease of Master's new home called and said they wanted to show it tomorrow to a buyer. i felt my heart stop. Master called the realtor back after reading the lease again and found the clause that stated what they were doing by showing it and so on while He had just leased it was clearly against the lease.

So they have taken the house off the market and W/we're not in danger of losing it for the next year. The plan by then is to have the log home Master wants built, so W/we won't have to worry, but for a few minutes i just sat in the ginormous Master bathroom on the edge of the garden tub (i LOVE this bathroom!) and had some pretty scary thoughts run through my head. Master took care of it though and i can breathe again. :)

So tomorrow my new life gets ready to start. a part of it starts...the part of me being in the house with the children without the negative forces of their father smashing our attempt to be happy about anything. He is poison to happiness. (the ex) and now that is out of the way. i can surround them with happiness, encouragement, laughter, and teach them Master's rules knowing that when He arrives, they will already be accustomed to how He wants things. They are looking forward to His arrival very much. Not as much as i am though.

it's been a very busy week and it's not over yet...but i'm handling it, without any major panic attacks (just a minor one this morning) and i am doing things the way Master has expressed He wants them. i hope that He is proud of me. :)

Changes coming!

My life is getting ready to take a drastic change for the better. Of course it won't be without bumps. As Master tells me, there are always little bumps in the road. But i know that Master and i can get through anything together.  i am looking forward to sharing O/our journey here with my blogger friends and on Fetlife and hope that O/our experiences will be of help to some who may be in a similar situation. 

i am so in love with Him, so committed and so dedicated to Him and O/our life together. i am Owned by Him mind, spirit, body, soul and heart and nothing will ever change that. He is the one i will spend the rest of my life with unless He decides otherwise and for me that is unconditional.

i've thought a lot about this and i don't make this statement lightly. There is NO ONE in my past, including the two marriage mistakes i made, KNOWING i was making them, that i saw with me down the road. With Master, i can see it vividly. He is my Master, my One True Love and i am truly blessed to be Owned by Him.

He has gotten U/us a house and He is moving here in a few months. The children and i are moving in the next couple of weeks and Master will be coming down with some things on the 1st of March. There is a lot to do...there are some stressful things to work out along the way and i know Master is feeling the strain with uprooting His entire life. He's been in the same place for 18 years. I've tried to backpedal FOR Him many times, afraid that He would regret what He is doing, but He has assured me that He has no doubts about U/us.

So i will do my best to support Him and be there for Him during this stressful time and look forward to when i can serve Him every single day, all day which is coming VERY SOON!! :)

The children are very excited both for the new house and to have Him here permanently. I am very excited to be with Him permanently and to finally, finally be away from my ex. i will be living by myself with the children for a few months before Master moves down and i'm actually looking forward to that. It'll be a time filled with getting back in control of the children without such a negative, disruptive force around every day that their father has been...things like undermining everything i try to teach them, and going against rules i have tried to establish will be a thing of the past. It will be a time where i can get them ready for Master moving to His new home and i can get rid of the bad habits that i have been dealing with due to my ex.

Master is the head of O/our home and all of the children know and respect this. it will be an adjustment, probably more for Master than the children, lol after all there are 7 of them. But they are truly good children who want to please He and i, so i know they will do their best to be good and make His adjustment as smooth as possible.

They are all excited about the fact that He will be there for all of their birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and it really makes me very emotional to know that this incredible Man not only took on a wild, fearful filly who was always running and STILL lets here fears get to her sometimes, but took on His filly's children as well.

i can't even put into words what that means to me. He is a unique and rare individual that i have massive respect and admiration for in addition to being just crazy in love with Him. The last 8 months of my life have been the BEST 8 months of my life and there's no doubt in my mind that there is a lot more best times coming.

i have my eyes open, and i know that there will be things that W/we have to discover and work through. i know myself though, and i am deeply rooted in O/our relationship as Master and slave, so there are things that i know will not be happening such as my arguing with Him, being defiant or disrespectful (i'd rather rip out my tongue) but there's a lot to learn about each other.

i am thankful to be able to call myself His slave, i am thankful that He loves me the way he does and that He wants to be with me. i am ready for this major change in my life...i have waited all my life to be with someone who really loved me, who i really loved and who was as committed to making things work as i am.
He is special...He is incredible and He is my Master... :)