When W/we talk about Master and slave (M/s), W/we are talking about CONSENSUAL slavery...both parties, in clear mind, entering into a relationship where one serves the Other. Nothing forced...nothing under duress. A free will choice to live O/our lives in a more structured and authoritative aspect. Like the 50's household, only supercharged. A milder form of this is D/S - Dominant and submissive. The difference between the two is both minor and great. A submissive sets limits and boundaries..."i will not do this or that". And the Dominant respects that. In a M/s relationship, there essentially are NO boundaries...the slave trusts that the Master will never cause them harm...mental, emotional, or physical harm (unless they, the slave, enjoys temporary pain). A M/s relationship is THE most trusting in the world between adults...one person is, literally, placing their life in the trust of another. It is also the most RESPONSIBLE one...for the Master MUST consider the entire welfare of His slave in every action.
Very few people can give and accept this level of trust and responsibility. One sees it most in the BDSM culture (more on why BDSM is not the Devil's handiwork later, lol). To those heavily into this culture, it is known as the Lifetyle...and those that do not know, understand, or subscribe to are referred to as "vanillas". That is NOT a disparaging term...just a way of describing the wide difference in mindsets.
W/we find this form of relationship freeing and so much more interesting. Many who discover the Lifestyle have a sense of "coming home"...finally realizing that they can BE the person they have been denying all their lives. It is incredibly freeing and, yes, wondrous. Both Myself and ali welcome questions from people if you are curious. W/we both feel that "newbies" need some form of guidance, because, like any social group, there are unsavory elements that look for new people to take advantage of. And this Lifestyle is such that MANY of the commonly held conventional beliefs will fly right out the window when one starts to become involved. But with the help and advice from long term Lifestylers, some of the possible dangers can be avoided.
These are O/our core beliefs as Master and slave. What that is to U/us, what that looks like, both to the vanilla world who sees U/us and to the lifestyle world. O/our views may not match what others believe or think, but it is what W/we believe in and hold value in. In sharing this with O/our readers, W/we hope to help those understand the lifestyle a little better as well as understanding U/us a little better as well.
Master D and His girl amethyst
______________________________________________________________________________
Trust in BDSM
I recently read a post on another group regarding broken trust, and it got Me to thinking a bit deeper. So I'm going to hop on My soapbox for a minute....these are MY opinions, BTW.
There are two critical things I feel define a BDSM relationship (not speaking about very casual play partner types, although SOME does apply). The first is 1) BDSM relationships are, by virtue of WIITWD, much more trusting. 2)..BDSM relationships are not the same as vanilla. More in a minute.
Ok, trust. WHY is trust more important in a BDSM relationship? Because, bluntly put, the sub/slave can be literally placing their life in the hands of another. As well as their mental state, and emotional well being. Fire play, breath play, medical play, bondage, impact play...ALL of those can be physically and mentally/emotionally dangerous. Yet the sub/slave TRUSTS that the Dom/Master KNOWS what they are doing and will not bring harm to them. That's pretty big, folks. Not like vanilla sex couple Dick and Jane where Dick lifts her leg too far and pulls a muscle. If Sir screws up a suspension bondage and His pet falls...serious injury. Dick spills the massage oil...big deal. Sir lets the wax get too hot before dripping it on pet's labia...explain THAT one to the paramedics! Dick playfully holds Jane's arms down during sex...Jane doesn't like it and gets huffy. Sir cuts too deep during knife play and hits a vein AND triggers a rape memory...BIG problem. So Y/you see, trust is really big in a BDSM relationship...mess it up and if Y/you are lucky, Y/you lose Y/your partner. Mess it up badly? Might lose a limb and end up in therapy.
Ok, BDSM is NOT the same as vanilla. Well, yeah, duh. But I'm not talking about the play aspect...I'm talking about the structure. 'Nilla relationships are, for the most part, two way streets...democratic, equal partnerships. Both parties have equal say. That's why most of U/us are IN the Lifestyle...W/we DON'T LIKE that style. W/we prefer an AUTOCRATIC arrangement. I say, you jump. I'm the boss. Or, i submit, and willingly do whatever i am told. Not democracy here, folks...yes, there is some negotiation usually, but other than those predefined limits...the Dom says "jump", the sub asks "how high?" (if they ask at all, lol). And therein lies another trust issue. By virtue of that arrangement, the Dom/Master has the "right" to do what They want...including talking to another sub, or bringing another sub into the relationship. Usually the alpha sub either accepts...or leaves. Period. If T/they are a long term couple, there may be discussion...but when it gets down to it, what the Dom/Master says...goes. That's part of the package. Take it or leave it. So, if the sub doesn't like that idea, and conveys that to their Dom/Master...they must TRUST that, even though the D/M has the RIGHT to court another sub....They won't. That's a big chunk of trust as well.
That's why I say over and over again...BDSM relationships are more trusting and generally stronger than vanilla ones. Because there is a LOT riding on both parties trusting each other to a degree unknown in most vanilla ones.
Ok, speech over, lol.
Master D
No comments:
Post a Comment